Some insight of a single parent

I’m not pointing the finger at any particular person but what I’m about to write needs to be said. Some people not all people are guilty of this though. There are some people in the world who might think that it’s easy being a single parent. How’s it easy? If you haven’t ever been a single parent you have no right to throw stones or cast judgments.  I’m a single parent and I’m telling you it is not easy. I had my first child when I was twenty years old. I wasn't prepared to have a baby. I was scared out of my mind. The only thing that made things better were the support of my family and friends to get me through it. You can read all the parenting books, blogs, websites, and much more. Just because you do all that it doesn't prepare you for when they get here. There is no proper instruction manual on raising kids. When my son came into this world I knew I’d have to make a lot of changes. I slowly did. A year went by and I had another kid and still wasn't prepared. At this point I was living with my dad and he helped me out. He told me he wanted me to stay home and raise my kids so I could spend time with them and for that I’m very grateful. He gave me the house that I grew up with and he’s helped me with cars. Even with his help it wasn't easy. When my second son the day after he was born he was in Arkansas Children’s Hospital. He was born with air wrapped around his lung and had to be put on a ventilator and IVs. The worst IV I saw was in his head. That made me sad to see him like that. After he was born I didn't want to see anyone other than my family. For the first two weeks of his life I couldn't hold him and all I could do was lay my hand on his back. I couldn't even rub his back because they were afraid that he’d pull the tube out. When I got to hold him after those two weeks I was happy because he finally got to come home. My dad would take me every day to go see him. I stayed at home with my oldest even though I wanted to be up at the hospital. I wanted to spend time with my oldest before I brought his brother home. For the first six months of his life he had colic and it drove me crazy. I’d do anything from rocking, singing, bouncing, bathing, gas drops, and nothing worked. Even though I had live in help it was still hard. They slowly grew up fast. They’re only twelve and ten right now and I keep learning new things about them every day. We all might think we know it all when we’re you but when you have kids you throw that theory out the window.  My dad and sister moved out when my oldest was about two. They don’t live far and still help me if I need it from time to time. Even though I don’t work my kids are a full time job. I have to cook, clean, and help with homework. Two years ago I finally decided it was time to better myself and that I don’t want to be stuck in a rut barely making it. Yes, I do get assistance. It goes towards my bills, what my kids need, food, and entertainment for my kids and me. Yes, I've made some poor decisions since I've had my kids when it came to men. I always make it better though. I’m learning who I can and cannot trust.  I always sit my kids down and explain to them that it isn't ever their fault and that they had done nothing wrong.  The best decision I made them two years ago was me getting my GED. That made my kids so proud of me. I was proud of me and it made them see that it’s not worth quitting school. Their teachers tell me how they brag about me. After I got my GED I started college and am currently enrolled to get my technical certificate in photography. When people get negative about the decisions I’ve made they’re not the ones who have to live with it. I do the best that I can do as a parent. I go to all their parent teacher conferences, doctor appointments, take them places, nurse them back to health, tell them that they should treat people good, read to them sometimes, watch movies with them, take them to the park, and so much more. I’m teaching my kids that bullying is wrong and that they will respect others. Yes, I sometimes lose my temper when they push my buttons. I’ve been known to yell and scream. It doesn't accomplish anything. I’m learning patience and to walk away when I need to. I’ve taken a parenting class just so I could get better perspective. Don’t judge people when you don’t know the whole story is what I’m getting at. You don’t know what that person might possibly be going through. As people we all make mistakes and have a past. Learn from those mistakes and better yourself. Even now I don’t have all the answers for my kids and I do what I can to make sure they are happy. All that matters at the end of the day is that my kids are happy. Yes I may spoil them at times and let them get away with stuff. You don’t always want to have a battle with your kids. So those who have a narrow view quit being negative. I know there are people who aren't as lucky as I am to have the support system of family and friends.