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Showing posts from July, 2022

Me living with depression

Even though I have depression,anxiety, PTSD, and have been through abuse, I am a person not just my diagnosis. I've been battling these things for years. I've been called crazy,  lazy,  told to get over it, your worthless, and many other things.  I've also heard things like ignore it. I thought there was something wrong with me and it was my fault. Yes, I did make bad choices sometimes that were my fault,but  I stopped taking the blame and stopped blaming myself for the bad things people did to me. My depression spiraled out of control when I lost my mom. I quit school my SR year. Fighting with my family is all I did is how it felt sometimes. I withdrew from a lot of my friends but it wasn't like they tried to be there for me really. I kept choosing toxic friends and boyfriends. People who were down right negative.  Listening to people talk about my weight, calling me lazy, crazy,and much more.They used me for money,food, place to stay, or whatever.  I have dealt with a

Lost my mom 24yrs ago July 25th

 July 25th every year is a hard day for me. On that day in 1998 I lost my mom to esophageal cancer.  It was like a piece of me died with her that day for a long time.  We were very close. Her and my dad adopted me when I was a week a old. She was the best mom a person could ask for. Took me places when I wanted to go. At every school function. She listened to me. Didn't judge me.  Was a very happy person.  Taught me so much in a short period of time. To be myself.  Love with all I've got. To be forgiving. Enjoy life even the small things. Watching her get sick and die when I was only 15years old was a lot. People wanted to compare it to losing grandparents and even a dog. I had lost 2 grandparents right before losing my mom, so it was like wham bam and boom. I fell into a deep depression and spiraled out of control.  Made poor life choices. Pushed people away. People weren't fully there for me fully.  Some made my mom's death about them.  I started sleeping a lot, skipp

Thank you for supporting me

 Thank you all who support me.  I appreciate it very much.  Thank you to the ones who listen to me and are there for me.  Thanks to the ones who buy books,  share books on your social media and word of mouth, share my YouTube Channel, read my blog, leave comments, likes, reviews for my books, and all that you do for me.  It means the world to me. You all are amazing. Much love to all of you. ❤❤❤

Start being better friends

 Some people call you friend,  yet sometimes you wonder. They only text you if you text first or answer if you call first.  That isn't always the case either. Sometimes they call you friend and only follow you on social media yet barely like or comment.  What is the point in all that? People are making more excuses of why not to text,call, or go see each other.  They say they are busy. Make up all kinds of excuses. People who care about you will make time. Then you have people you ask how they are doing and they complain about their life, emotional dump on you, and don't talk about good stuff in their life just all negative.  They don't even ask can you handle it or how you are doing.  People need to start texting, calling, and seeing family and friends. One day they will no longer be there because they didn't think you cared,loved them, and etc. Actions speak louder than your words. No excuse to be crappy to people who love and care about you.  One day they will die. I

Sometimes I need help as an author

 My dream is for people to read and sell more books. I haven't sold many over the years.  I set a goal around my birthday every year to sell 100 and haven't ever reached that. It is disappointing and discouraging because I am not sure if people want to read my work and I have put a lot of hard work I to each book. No,they aren't all perfect.  Yes, they may have some mistakes.  I do the best that I can.  I do my own ads because I can't pay for advertising.  Not everyone leaves me reviews when they do read them and some say nice things and some are very ugly.  I share it on Twitter,  Facebook,  LinkedIn,  have a website,  YouTube,  and here. Sometimes I feel like it doesn't reach many people.  I need all of you to help by sharing it with family and friends if you don't like to read.  Leave me a review if you buy a copy.  Please help support me.  Thank you. I'm not giving up. 

Psychic Vampire Prophecies Volume 5 New Beginnings and Endings (New Release)

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 That moment you all have been waiting for is finally here I finally finished Psychic Vampire Prophecies.  I hope you enjoy.  The final book will only be in ebook because it is over 2,000 pages long.  It took me about 8 or 9 years to finish the final book.  Description Alexis had a lot to figure out in her life with family, friends, and relationships. There is a war that she isn't sure she can win. Things are constantly changing around her. So many secrets that come out. There are days she isn't sure of who she can trust. Her feelings are up and down because of everything she's experiencing. There are new adventures along with a lot of loss. People are coming and going out of her life. She did best by her people to make it a better world for them. It is not ever a dull moment. Psychic Vampire Prophecies Volume 5 New Beginnings and Endings https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B77BF4N7/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_HHJARTF87GCFNPH19EZ6

Don't let people push you over and walk over you

 Don't let people push you over or walk over you. They will do it time and time again if you let them. They don't respect you.  These people don't care about you.  They say they do. They will continue doing it if you allow it. Don't allow them to disrespect you like that. Set boundaries.  If they can't respect your boundaries cut them out of your life. Be done.  You deserve better. Stop making excuses for these people. 

Do what is best for you

 Do what is best for you in your life.  There are always going to be people giving unsolicited advice, opinions, or telling you how you should live your life. Guess what it is your life not their life.  Some are projecting what they want in their life and try to pull you down. It is your choice on what to do. If you have to cut these people out of your life do it. You don't have to listen to what they have to say. Whether it is a job,money, friendships, relationships, or whatever in life. You don't have to share anything with anyone if you don't want to.  Some people feel like they have the right to know. It doesn't matter if it's family, friends, significant other,or whomever that is up to you on whether you share stuff about your life. It's not everyone's business but your own. People act entitled and above you at times when they are not. Everyone struggles in life. We all have a past and we all make mistakes.  Sometimes we repeat mistakes. It's a lear

Some say they are nice and kind when they aren't in reality

 Sometimes people say they are nice and good people when they aren't very nice. What are they trying to prove? People can generally tell if you are nice or good people. Nice and good people don't have to prove that to anyone. I've heard people talk about being nice, good, kind yet tear someone down or make fun of someone in the same sentence. No one is 100% nice or good all the time. Yes, we make mistakes. You don't have to tear people down, make fun of, or other things. Actions speak really loud and words sometimes are empty. Show people quit telling them that you are good or nice. Let people make that choice for themselves. It is about being better than you were before. It is about changing for the better. No one should be made to feel less than. Think before you speak because it may affect someone and they might be struggling. There are good people in the world but some act like good people when in reality they aren't very nice or good people. Some will prey on y

Be you

 Be yourself because if people don't like you that is their problem not your problem.  You can't make everyone like you. Stop trying to please everyone they will drain you. Stop trying to fix and save everyone, you can't do it. They have to want to change. They have to want to fix and save themselves by working on themselves.  It isn't your job. If they make you miserable cut them out of your life.  Cut them out if they use you, lie,manipulate and whatever takes away from your happiness.  You deserve happiness.  Self reflect for yourself. Do what is right for you.  Have you time. Live your life for you and no one else.  Live your best life. You are trying your best. Don't let others pull you down.  Keep being the best you. 

New Poetry Book Release

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I recently just finished writing this poetry book. It was recently published on Amazon in paperback and Kindle ebook.  

Do you

 Sometimes people have to do them for them. We need to it for ourselves because it is a way to recharge our batteries and energy. Anyone who says that it is selfish is wrong. It is important to take time for yourself. The reason why is so we can reflect on our behavior and other people around us. We need to sometimes take a look and see is this still the right path for me. Also sometimes we need to make sure that our relationships and friendships are still healthy or are they toxic. Sometimes we have to let people go not because we stop caring but because those people aren't helping us grow as a person and they are constantly negative. You don't need people who are constantly negative, full of drama, and don't want to change for the better to suck the life out of you because they can do that. Some people are all about them. They emotionally dump on you and don't ask about you. Talk about themselves or their problems all the time which can be a bit much. It is one thing

Abortion thoughts

 I'm not for or against abortion.  Abortion has and always will be a black and white or gray area. Some people don't think about the reasons behind it and are quick to judge. Yes, I understand it is a life and has a soul.  For a minute take religion and politics out of the equation. Everyone is following and listening blindly. Quick to get in line. Here's the thing when rape,molestation, and incest are going on they weren't in control and it is something that they have to live with everyday. It should be a choice on adoption or abortion. There is psychological damage already done. No one likes being told what to do. Not having choices isn't right. If a woman is dying or the baby is dying it should be up to the woman and her doctor not the world. You shouldn't shame people for making that choice if they were raped or other reasons. Abuse is no laughing matter. I'm not saying that people should make rash decisions.  I think that people need to educate themselv