Getting healthy for me.

 When it comes to getting healthy I feel like I self sabotage and not on purpose. I guess it is the many years of procrastination. I've been working on my mental and physical health. There are days I want to beat my head into the wall. It can be so emotional when it comes to health or mental either which way. I am trying to do better at cutting people out who don't need to be in my life. Not sure I've learnt my lesson when it comes to people using me. We shall see. I do need to work a lot more on the physical health and get into shape because I am sliding down hill and not liking it. Who can change it? Only I can change it. No one can fix me but me. Just like no one can make me happy but me. I need to learn how to motivate and retrain my thinking. I am always telling people they can do it. I guess I need to start with some goals on certain things. Goal one is lose weight and not massive amounts at a time. I don't do diets because the first 3 letters spell out DIE, so no. I need to find exercise that I can stick to and maybe some new recipes. Maybe you all can help me out with the recipe thing. We shall see. I'm not giving up. I have my good pain days and not so good ones to where I don't want to get out of bed. Something I need to be doing is getting out of bed regardless. I feel exhausted often and part of it I can see why. I know that I can do this and it is going to take time. The one thing I am doing is doing it for myself and no one else.

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